Bill and his incredible, scary, confusing, uplifting, beautiful journey.

I know that stories are simply just stories but I'm still waiting. I'm waiting for the carriage to take me away...to a dream, to another place for good or simply just a night I will never forget. I believe that something grand is about to happen...after all...there is hope.

...once again I am being made to read Pride and Prejudice for class. This truely must be the fourth time. "Oh...Mr. Darcy, you are so charming and arrogant. How can i ever make you love me?" I want to puke.

Current Mood: groggy

Today I felt productive, I went to class and then after to the coffee shop to write. Every time I add to my book I feel powered, powerful enough to finish something good. What is amazing about this project is that for now it is simply my own. No-one has seen the world that I have created. It is a hope of mine to believe that someday people will.

It was nice to take a step back today and be proud of my better accomplishments. I am almost done with school! I can feel it. I am 175 pages into my tribute to J.M. Barrie and L. Frank Baum. And I am discovering that my heart is almost mended. I have much to look forward to.

At the movies tonight I heard this quote: "Stop trying to live up to everyone's expectations, and do what is best for you."

I couldn't agree any more.

Current Mood: contemplative

I'm back after much anticipated delay!!!!!

Current Mood: chipper

The title to the next Oz book by Gregory Mcguire was just released and it is called "A Cowardly War". The central character is going to be the Cowardly Lion. I am so stoked since "Son of a Witch" left so much open. This title also confirms that WICKED will be a five part series fasioned after "The Once and Future King". Sorry I am a freak, but I couldn't be happier right now!

Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: Where's Neil Gaiman When You Need Him?

Well, Merry Late Christmas to all who will see this, do not know who will though.

...the last day of my childhood.
It's hard to say how much my life has been effected these last few weeks. I've been dreaming again, but they are all new dreams. They are all inspired by the different lessons life has thrown me each and every day. I know that when I go back to school in a few days I won't be the same. I am ready to expand my mind, and pretty much done with leasure and hopless child-like dreams. Metephorically, I am running away. I am spreading my wings. I am getting away from the land of what might have been and traveling to the land of what could be. I realize that this all sounds strange, but it's funny how just a few strange words can describe something so beautiful something that no one may ever understand. 2005 was a year of simply wanting exceptance, guidance, maybe even love. 2005 wasn't what I wish it could have been, and I'm starting to realize that it was my own damn fault. I have been waiting so long for somebody to find me, for somebody to hold me, for someone to be simply a friend to me. I have so much love for every single person that has effected me since highschool. I keep dreaming that people are going to knock on the door and say "There you are, I've missed you." I mean, one day you are walking down the street with four friends, thinking wow I'm on top of the world, the next you are thinking where did everyone go. But I've learned that you can't have so much love for so many people when you don't even have enough for yourself. I can't say how thrilled I am at the fact that I have the opportunity to take a different path right now. It's going to be rocky at times, It may even be scary, but at least Im stuck on this path with someone I do know, me. Goodbye to yesterday, you have changed me. Maybe what I need is a pesonal journal.
With this new road I won't be needing the aproval of Live Journal or the hope of mended firendships. I wish everyone the best on their roads. May you all find less rocks than I did.

This year is going to be good for me I just know it! Happy New Year all! I hope your resolutions work out!!!

People Don't change. That's all.

I went Minature Golfing with my roommate Zack and his gf Meagan, I had a blast. I'm glad that I have the opprotunity to do at least something while I'm down here. I'm excited to go back to Flag, I've got lots of new reading material.

New Years. Wow, it's almost a new year. I've got my resolution, It suits me. If anyone want to hang out I am at home in Peoria.

Todays Gina's 19th Birthday!!! Happy Birthday to her!

Peace.

So the last two days I was working for my friends brother, I made 125$ so that's cool. But my body is sore. I had to take up all the tile in a house by myself. It was kind of fun though, I didn't realize I had that much built up agression. Lol, some of my muscles that I didn't even know I had are hurting.

So I delivered a present tonight. I love that feeling. I guess thats what Christmas is about, doing things for other people makes me happy, especially giving them presents.

Me and Vicki went to it's a grind tonight and I had some long deserved coffee, we also went to the dollar store and got gina some chistmas Gifts (Madonna Books, shhh, don't tell.)

After all that I came home and me and Gina watched Prancer, it used to be my favorite movie when I was a kid. I miss it. It was good. I love it.

Well, it is now the day before Christmas Eve, Peace, I need sleep.

P.S. must deliver all my presents tomorrow.

Soon...I keep telling my self. The Bus is just down the street. There is a suit case in the garage.

Anyways, got to see my buddy Todd, that was cool, I'm going to go see my Nana and Papa today I guess I'm excited. I wan to go back to school now.

Hope fades into the world of night...
...Through sadows falling out of memory and time.



I am happy right now. I'm almost finished with The 5 People You Meet in Heaven. It is a really good book, I guess one of my favorites. It's good that i have the time to catch up on things. I stared my painting of Elphaba, I think it's good, It's really my first painting for me.

I am gonna go talk to Santa at the mall tomorrow.

Peace.

Christmas really isnt anyhting great without my mom. I kinda miss chicago.

Things confuse me so much. When you wait, and wait, what else is there to do. There are so many things I need to move on from. I need to get up and find new doors. Doors like mine. Doors that are waiting like me...
...I'm a freak.

Going to Aquabats tonight!!!! Jeremy got free tickets! I am home now so if anyone wants to kick it or see me just call my cell phone:623-340-0605

( Andrea )

The Chronicles of Narnia was amazing!!! It ws way better than I thought it would be. I think it will be a more LOTR tradition for me, where I want to see it at least 10 more times in the theatre. I can't wait for the next movie!

Into the Woods went well. It was experience I think I needed. I don't remember ever being that nervous for a show. I hope that I did ok.

Need to work on Chistmas Gifts! Most of which are going to be made this year.

Lazy day. im excited to go home. I am gonna paint till I have to stop. After tomorrow things will be ok, I will be one step closer to break. Vicki we need to chill and have interventions. LOL. I need this break.

Im debating leaving Flagstaff. I donno.

My Papa is gonna be in Flag tomorrow. He is arriving by train. It's Pretty cool.

Current Mood: hyper
Current Music: Eye of The Tiger, lol

Do you ever feel like if you somehow just scream the loudest you ever have that it will fix all of you problems. That is how I feel today. Somehow I feel broken. Things for me at this point aren't working the way I wish they were,with everything, but then again they rarely do. I think thats why it it so ironic when good things happen to you. Because in this world we grow sort of used to discomfort and imperfection. I've been struggling so hard to just smile and be happy but today I can't. I wish that for christmas I could give everyone what they wished for the most. My biggest wish is to just have some sort of miracle day. Someday where every thing goes right, someday where theres a knock on my door. I don't know, that probally doesn't even make sense, but it's how I feel just the same.

I keep questioning why I am really here in Flagstaff. I feel like a big fish in a small pond. Everyone is the same here. Everyone is evil to eachother, and backstabbing. The most kindness I find here is Kristen O, and I feel like I could never be as beautiful as a person as she is. If there is a heaven she definatly has a place. But what am I doing here. I want to meet new people, I want to see places I've always dreamed of. I want New York, I want Chicago, I want L.A., I want everything that is not here, everything that doesn't remind me of who I used to be, but Of who I am now. I want to take a suit case filled with paints and canvases and I want to escape. I want to paint the world. I want to feel everything that is not in my world right now. This is strange but every day I gain more and more courage. Soon I am leaving. I am going to pack ONE suit case full of the most important things to me and i am going to get on the first bus I see. Everyone thinks it's a bluff, but I think it's the most courageous thing I can do for me. I am going to find a bigger pond.

Current Mood: determined

Excellent, you're a Slytherin! Clever and sly, you
do things out of self-interest, forming social
connections that will help you gain power.
Highly ambitious, you are good at manipulating
situations and people to your advantage. Your
house is known for having students with pure
heritage and calculating minds. Snakes for the
House Cup!
(Art courtesy of Ayne Greensleeves)


An Intelligent Harry Potter House Sorting Quiz
brought to you by Quizilla

Who do you want to be under the mistletoe with?
There is an R in her name, LOL.

What are your favourite Christmas memories?
Snowy Winters in Chicago, looking through the windows,
and driving with my sister and mom to my aunts house on Christmas Eve.

Where would you rather spend Christmas this year?
Hawai, I want to not be here for Christmas,
especially if I can't have it with my mom.

What is your favourite Christmas song?
Last Christmas, by George Michael...
I think it is the most emo christmas song ever,
but I cant stop listening to it, I play it over and over.

What do you usually do Christmas morning?
My Brother and My sister and I sneek look at all the things in our stockings,
then we put them back and pretend we didn't see a thing so we can pretend
to be surprised for our parents when they wake up.

Have you bought all your presents yet?
I think I'm going to have to make them this year.

What do you do on Christmas Eve?
Listen to Christmas music, and watch a Christmas Story with my family, traditions.
Do you spend Christmas with a lot of family?
Not always.

Do you go anywhere special on Christmas (vacation)?
Chicago, but not this year.

How many items are on your wish list?
Like 7.


What do you usually eat on Christmas?
Cookies and Pie, and Cranberry sauce.

When did you find out that Santa wasn't real?
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. IF I DON'T BELIVE, MY MOM SAYS THEN WE DON'T GET PRESENTS.

Do you still make snowmen and snow angels?
In Chigago, yes, but not this year.

Do you still have snow ball fights with your siblings/parents?
OH YEAH, SAID THE KOOL-AID MAN, I LOVE THROUGHING THEM AT MY MOM, LOL.

What's your favourite Christmas movie?
Twas the Night Before Christmas, you know the one with the mice.
Really Anything by Rankin and Bass, the claymation movies, God I can't live without them!!!

What do you like doing over the Christmas holidays?
Window Shopping, Glendale Glitters, Movie hopping.

What do you plan to do for New Year's Eve?
I want to throw a party.

What are your usual traditions on New Year's?
I like to drink, but I get depressed if I don't have a kiss at midnight.
Being an italian I eat lots of food too.

Got any resolutions?
Yes, but sorry, this ones personal.

What's the weirdest thing you've ever got for Christmas?
Socks, LoL, it was when I was a kid, now I think it would be great.

What's the most expensive thing you've got for Christmas?
A life sized Nutcracker.

How early do you wake up on Christmas morning?
Before the sun, to sneak peaks.

What do you usually get in your stocking?
Lottery tickets, movie passes, cheap dollar store candy (LOL, come on Santa), cool toys.